This Study Requires Further Study

Here's a theory of mine: American taxpayers have funded studies of absolutely every infinitesimal thing that can be studied. So we're simply left with studies that state the obvious...or conclude that the topic being studied needs more study.

Today's study reportedly reveals that the closer that a college freshman is located to a dining hall, the more weight that freshman will gain.

Except that conclusion doesn't apply to men. So we need more study.

I wonder how much we'd cut off the deficit if we stopped doing studies. NO--I'm not talking about ending the search for cures for diseases. I am talking about not funding studies of things that aren't really important. How would we identify what's not important? I guess we'd need a study.

But seriously, aren't the co-researchers embarrassed to put out a study in which the results may not be reliable and on which no results can be ascertained? Or plan of action put in place?