Two Constant Rules Of Government

Things always cost more than the government estimates, and the debt is always bigger than the government predicts.

The Secret To Eternal Life

"Six thousand deaths over the last decade could have been avoided if Americans drank less soda and sugary beverages, according to an analysis from the University of California, San Francisco."

Call it the gospel according to science...if you'd just stop doing stuff you enjoy, you'd AVOID DEATH.

Rock Songs By Old People/For Old People

Dedicated to fellow classic rocker (and an awesome blogger) John Deeth.

Please melt...but don't flood

toothpastefordinner.com

Time for a new line of work!

I was intrigued by this Salon piece, about a referendum in Switzerland that would grant animals the right to court-appointed representation. According to the article, Switzerland is already incredibly protective of animal-rights, requiring social pet animals to be kept in pairs, prohibiting dog ownership without completion of a training course, and even (as of 2013) outlawing tying up a horse inside a stall.

The Swiss Animal Protection (STS) league, which gathered the 100,000 signatures required for the referendum to be held, hopes that appointing attorneys to represent animals in court will lead people to take infringements upon animal rights and animal abuse more seriously.

All of this sounds great to me (my cats would kill me in my sleep if I suggested otherwise), but the best part comes at the very end of the article, where we learn what a court-appointed animal rights attorney might earn! Whoa Nellie, I am practicing in the WRONG JURISDICTION.

Begin March Madness Early

I love "March Madness"..or as "Wired" refers to it: the "Great American Workplace Productivity Suck."

But why wait 'til the tourney actually gets underway to start frittering away the company's money? The NCAA introduces "Vault" which

contains full, commercial-free footage of 150 tournament games from the past decade —every Sweet 16 game on to the championship from 2000 through last year. More so, engineers have indexed every game with nearly 6,000 combined metadata tags, so fans can easily filter incredible dunks, blocks, buzzer beaters and more. If you prefer, you can also sort by team, year or player.

Warning: Cheap Toilet Paper Will Kill You

When you ask for just "toilet paper," danger is probably the last thing that enters your mind.

Yet the important hospitals of five major cities warn you: You are risking your family's health every time you do this. For safety and comfort, toilet paper must be soft, absorbent, and chemically pure.

Thus begins a bumwad scare ad of the late 1920s. Wish I had read this before buying that discount "Three Mile Island" paper.

A chuckle for your afternoon

From Dvorak Uncensored.

Amphibians do not turn into princes; may make you vomit

Ladies, do not kiss frogs. At least 50 girls nationwide have picked up salmonella while attempting to turn toads into Prince Charming. The article does not discuss the diseases ladies have contracted from Prince Charmings who ultimately turned out to be toads.

Dancing With The Stars Pairs

Conversation I overheard during lunch: "I can't decide who I want voted off first!"

Meet The New Boss

In 2004, Republicans began to suffer a series of devastating electoral defeats from which the party is yet to recover. Voters had put the GOP in control, and the result was fiscal irresponsibility and frequent scandal. So...voters put Democrats in control.

As The Who sang, "meet the new boss/same as the old boss."

Defiant Representative Charles Rangel is stepping down "temporarily" as chair of House Ways And Means amid an ethics probe. Democrats fear that they are "soiling their brand" just as Republicans did in 2004. The impact can be felt up and down the ballot.

This is a beautiful love.

A handshake like the "collapsed dorsal fin of a newly dead porpoise"

Have you ever met someone, shaken their hand, and come away with an immediate impression of them based upon that handshake? Jesse Bering of Scientific American's "Bering in Mind" blog has, and he can tell you all you might ever need to know about handshakes. Cool stuff!

His other posts are lots of fun too...click through for articles on sociopaths, pubic hair, female orgasms, and more.

"When you're naked and everybody else is naked, you feel like you're dressed"

While Kiwis are snuggling in sky couches under blankets on Air New Zealand, (but definitely not "forking"), Aussies are taking it all off, outside. 5,200 Australians participated in a photography session at the Sydney Opera House...all stark naked. New York artist Spencer Tunick coordinated the shots for Sydney’s Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras.

No mile-high club for you on Kiwi airline!

Great graphic, Air New Zealand!

Mercury: Another reason to avoid high-fructose corn syrup

Here's a story, making the rounds on Facebook, that many might have missed in January. It turns out that high fructose corn syrup, a common sweetening ingredient in many processed and packaged foods, may contain mercury. Here's the Washington Post's write-up, and here's the original study.